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As a daycare provider, I purchase two carts of grocery items each week.

Approaching the checkout one day, I watched the cashier's eyes widen in amazement. "You must be Mother Hubbard!" she exclaimed.

I, too, was amazed. "How do you know my name?"

Puzzled, she scanned the items. Then I handed her my check.

"Oh, I meant the Mother Hubbard in the nursery rhyme. You know, the one whose cupboards are empty. But you really are Mother Hubbard!"

—Suzanne Hubbard
Greeley, Colorado

One Sunday morning I sat behind a couple and their five young daughters. During the closing hymn, I noticed that the daughter at the end of the pew was whistling the tune instead of singing it. The father, concentrating on his bass part, didn't notice, but the mother was clearly mortified. But the child was sitting too far from her for a reprimand.

As soon as the service was over, the mother leaned over to her husband and said in exasperation, "Honey, you have to do something!" He promptly turned to the offending youngster and said, "You were off-key, Susan."

—Janell Wheeler
Skellytown, Texas

Chris, one of my wife's coworkers, was late for work. As she approached an intersection where she needed to turn, she crossed over the white line before the turn lane began. While waiting in traffic, her foot slipped off the brake, and she bumped the car in front of her … a police car!

The officer got out and scolded her for crossing the white line.

"I knew I had to get over into the turn lane," Chris explained. "Besides, everyone else was doing it."

"Just because every other dimwit does it, doesn't mean you have to do it," the officer replied.

Right then, another car did the exact same thing. The officer left Chris to speak with the newest offender. Moments later, he returned, shaking his head. "That was my wife!" Of course, neither she nor Chris was ticketed.

—William Ritner
Orlando, Florida

Copyright © 1999 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian magazine (formerly Christian Reader).
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