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Lite Fare

Our pastor was taking a much needed vacation and attended an early worship service at another church.

Following the offering, the order of service called for the congregation to stand and sing the Doxology. The organ was programmed so that someone simply pushes a button and the music plays even if the organist isn't present.

When the button was pushed on this particular Sunday morning, just as the ushers began walking down the aisle, the chords of "The Wedding March" sounded.

As the music stopped and the congregation's laughter subsided, one of the ushers loudly proclaimed, "I do!"

—Frankie Roland
Coffeyville, Kansas

I took my aisle seat one Sunday as usual. We were packed into the pew, so I placed my purse on the floor.

When it was time for the offering, four older gentlemen began taking the collection. Suddenly, one started limping, as if he were going to fall down. We wondered if he was having a heart attack.

But I was the one whose heart nearly stopped. My purse strap was wrapped around his leg! He managed to escape but not before the contents of my purse trailed behind him. No one was hurt, there was a quick scramble for the items, and I survived the ribbing that came after.

—Linda Ostermeyer
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

At my youth group's spaghetti dinner, one of the young people grabbed the Parmesan cheese out of the church refrigerator. After a few bites, everyone concluded it was the worst-tasting Parmesan cheese they had ever had.

The bottom of the can provided the answer—the cheese had expired 12 years ago!

—Kristy Yerger
Lacey, Washington

Our minister, Davis Chappell, is directionally impaired. His wife Sherre does most of the driving in their family.

But Davis has a cheerful attitude. As he explains, "I can get you to heaven, but I can't get you across town."

—Valerie A. Norris
Woodstock, Georgia

Copyright © 1999 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian magazine (formerly Christian Reader).
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