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Home > Today's Christian > Laughing Matters > Lite Fare

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Today's Christian, July/August 2000

"I just weed the plants. I don't counsel them."

Recently at the Christian school where I work, our copier began making terrible, machine gun-like noises that could be heard throughout the building. Several of us watched our boss try to placate the equipment. Finally, she just unplugged it, and the collating monster shook to a stubborn stop.

A secretary then dismantled its collating trays.

"Would you look at this," she said, holding up a computer disk that had lodged between two trays. "This thing must have gone completely through the copier. I bet some kid shoved it in when no one was looking."

She turned the copier on again, and it silently resumed its task.

A parent, who'd observed the entire episode, flashed a knowing grin, and said, "Don't you know that's no way to copy a disk?"

—Rhonda Reese
Jacksonville, Florida

Apigeon had begun nesting beneath my church's steeple. I arrived one Sunday evening just as the bird took flight. A church elder was standing outside, and I casually said, "I see the Holy Spirit has taken up residence with us."

As the elder watched the bird fly away, he said, "Yep. And as soon as you showed up, there he went."

—Nathan Casebolt
Greenville, South Carolina

One sunny morning I dragged my teenage son Matt outside to help me pull weeds. He often snickers when he catches me talking to my plants, but I told him, "Be careful. The weeds are so thick here you could easily uproot a flower. If you do, stick it back in the ground and tell it you're sorry."

My son sighed. "Mom," he said. "I just weed the plants. I don't counsel them."

—Marsha Gubser
Salinas, California

My friend, Margaret, mentioned that her husband George never could remember their wedding anniversary on March 7. One year, when they were enroute to Australia, at five minutes before midnight on March 6, George proudly looked at Margaret and said, "This year I remembered. Just five minutes."

At that moment the captain's voice announced, "We have crossed the International Date Line. It's now March 8."

—Margaret Gunn
Mason, Michigan

July/August 2000, Vol. 38, No. 4, Page 74




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