Choice Lessons
Theme for this Week: Teaching Responsibility
Saturday, November 24, 2001
 1 of 1
Q. How can we help children learn from bad decisions?
A. Here's an example. My son got excited about joining the Cub Scouts. But he played hockey and basketball, was taking drum lessons and in the children's choir at church, and he was a student. Rather then just saying no, I gave him a choice. I said, "Ricky, you're already involved in several things, and I think Cub Scouts would crowd your schedule. But choose. If you join Cub Scouts, you'll need to remain with them for at least two months. You can't go just once or twice and quit."
Ricky decided to go ahead and join. Sure enough, two weeks later he lost interest because there were so many things going on in his life. However, per our agreement, he had to keep going for two months. He was then able to drop out. For those two months he was frustrated, but not with me because he knew up front that he was responsible for the choice he made.
What about good decisions?
Look for opportunities to affirm them. If your son or daughter comes home and says, "Mom! Dad! I made the basketball team!" review the positive steps they took toward realizing their goal.
"That's great! Why do you think you made the team?"
"Because I worked hard all summer on my game."
"You sure did!"
Understanding that they can choose behavior that will benefit them, as well as avoid behaviors that will hurt them, is an exciting discovery. Personal responsibility is a powerful motivator and gives young people a sense of participation in their own destiny.
Ricky Byrdsong, late basketball coach at Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois.
Adapted from: Coaching Your Kids in the Game of Life (Bethany, 2000) with permission.
For your convenience, Coaching Your Kids in the Game of Life is available in the ChristianityToday.com bookstore.
Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc./Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity. 1 of 1
Father, use me to develop others' ability to take responsibility for their actions.
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