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Hey Dad,

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a little depressed and overwhelmed. I don't think it's because of the mountain of stuff that still needs to be done after being on the road for 3½ months, the fact that I still haven't caught the groundhog that's slowly been eating my car, or that we've been running fast and furious for the last 12 days straight.

The real issue is that my wife thinks I'm a creep—not that she said that in so many words, but she might as well have. She actually said that I seem so different from the funny, happy-go-lucky, loving man she married almost two decades ago, and that our marriage has stunk (has stinked? stank? stunked? … you know) for the last few months.

I try to remind her that things have just been hard lately from being on the road for so long, and that we had a baby, and that we're just worn out … but she's not buying it.

What I'd like to do is blow it all off and say, "You're overreacting, experiencing post-something depression, or just going through a hormonal-kind-of-phasey thing." Or even better, I'd like to tell her to buck up. Life changes things and people, and that's just the way it is—so get over it.

But … but … I can't get around the feeling that maybe she's right. Maybe I've taken the easy path and quit trying like I used to. I used to be more patient when she feels overwhelmed, not as easily bothered, and more concerned with the things she is feeling and thinking about.

Man, why can't this marriage thing be easier?! I hate having to work hard to make our marriage good. But I'm 'da husband, right? Man, I hate that phrase—but it's true.

So I guess I will work harder, not because I have to, but because I want to. She's my bride, my best friend, and the love of my life, and she needs her man to woo her once again.

You know what, Dad? Your wife needs you to woo her, too. She needs you to break through any walls that have been built up, scrape away the scum, and pursue her like … you used to. Starting right now.

You 'da husband,

© 2008 Todd Wilson. Used by permission.

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