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Hey Dad,

I thought I'd use this week's FM Weekly to update you on a few items.

Item One: Nose Hair—I "nose" you've all been wondering how my nose hair debacle turned out, and didn't want to leave you hanging. I'm proud to announce that the nose hair is under control. Thanks to the Remington Wet/Dry (yuck) Hair Trimmer that my wife picked up at Big Lots for only $6, I'm looking good and hair-free. The Remington, styled like a chrome Magnum 350, does the job without pain and emotional scars. So thanks for all your advice and concern. I especially appreciate all you dads that I met on the road who walked by me, stooped down to view my nostrils and said, "How's the nose-hair problem?"

Item Two: Oh, we've got trouble, right here in River City … that starts with a capital "T" and rhymes with "G" and that stands for—groundhog. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Yes, I've got some major rodent trouble. Apparently, a groundhog or some other evil animal has a hankering for automobile electrical wiring (tastes like chicken). Anyway, he must be removed. I've got a live trap and an attitude. Mr. Big, Bad, and Gnarly is about to meet the Verminator. I'll keep you posted.

Item Three: Let me get right to the point. Last week while I was speaking at Sandy Cove Ministries, a normal looking guy came up to me, introduced himself, and then explained to me that he and his wife schedule their intimacy (nice way to start a conversation). Anyway, I was intrigued by his logic, and I'd like to hear what you think about his idea. So go ahead and tell me (see below).

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print. Hope all is well with your family and that you're carving time out of your busy summer to enjoy your family.

You 'da dad,

© 2008 Todd Wilson. Used by permission.

To respond to this column, e-mail Todd in care of Mail@menofintegrity.net

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